Comedy Screenplay Challenge: Everything’s Fine – Results

Charlie Chaplin

Yup, we’re late getting you results.

Erikka’s had a busy performance schedule, and I’ve been back and forth to LA twice in the past 10 days. But we’re back, we’re bad, and goddam it, people love us.

So here you go…

THE CHALLENGE: WRITE A SHORT SCREENPLAY COMEDY SCENE

With the following restrictions:

Write a scene with a main character who is in a situation that is incredibly awkward and difficult to cope with.

Include a second character whose sole purpose is to interact with the main character as though nothing is wrong and nothing awkward is happening.

Oh, and make it hilarious.

And the winner is… Daniel Johnson of Daniel Johnson Films

Here’s what Erikka had to say [spoilers]:

The scene makes good use of film as a visual medium and uses awkward tension well for comedic effect. I also like the use of miscommunication. Marcus, the naked guy, keeps thinking Jack’s comments are about his lack of clothing, but they end up being about his work. The scene also keeps raising the stakes. By the end, Jack is asking Marcus for a hug instead of chastising him. Nice work!

– Erikka Innes

Congratulations, Daniel, on taking the top spot.

Who is Daniel Johnson?

He’s a screenwriter and filmmaker from London England. Here’s some stuff we stole from his website:

I am a screenwriter and film director based in London, England. I am currently involved in numerous projects which I will try to summarise in as quick a way as possible:

I will be directing a short play, which I also wrote; called ‘The Proposal Update’. It will be performed for one night only at the Old Red Lion Theatre on July 2nd. I have just started writing a new screenplay. It’s a feature film set in New York City. That’s all I say about it for now!

What Daniel wins:

  • The lucky winner will get a copy of Erikka’s latest CD Sex with Nerds
  • The new joke book she appears in: “My Joke Book.”
  • And of course, bragging rights.

Runners Up – What Chip Says…

I agree with Erikka’s choice, but I will say it was a tough call… I was also pretty partial to a couple of other entries. So I’ll throw out a couple of runner’s up:

  • Scott Luper’s Marriage Counselor
  • The Hawk’s Hitler’s Pitch

Read The Winner

Here’s Daniel’s winning entry. What do you think? Leave your comments below.

INT. OFFICE -- NIGHT

It’s dead quiet. MARCUS, mid-30’s, lifts up his gym bag and pulls out his casual clothing.

He looks down at the suit he’s wearing. Yes. Definitely time to change. He takes off his shirt and tie -- followed by his trousers. He’s down to underwear.

He looks around. It’s empty. He feels strangely liberated. He takes off his underwear. He’s naked.

The door opens, JACK, 50’s, enters.

JACK

I got the figures back. We’re down 8% so we’re going to have to cut back on the Hatchwell account.

MARCUS stands there; frozen, naked.

MARCUS

Umm-- uhhh, okay, look, I --- I was just ---

JACK

Marcus.

JACK has a confused look on his face.

MARCUS

Okay you must be wondering what the hell is going on?

JACK

Exactly! What happened to the account? I thought you were handling it.

MARCUS is taken aback. It’s as if JACK doesn’t know he’s naked.

MARCUS

Well, yeah -- I mean, obviously we’ve had some restructuring in the company, so it’s been a tough few months.

MARCUS sits behind the desk, as if to cover his most sensitive regions.

JACK steps towards him --

JACK

Look, I know you’ve had a hard time recently, but I believe in you, I do.

MARCUS

Thanks.

JACK

You’re still taking care of the Rudd acount, right?

MARCUS

Definitely.

JACK

Shake on it?

JACK offers out his hand to shake. MARCUS realizes it will mean him having to stand and reach towards him. JACK isn’t budging.

The naked MARCUS stands up and reaches out his hand to shake. JACK doesn’t seem fazed by it at all.

They shake hands. MARCUS looks uncomfortable, and nervous.

JACK (CONT’D)

Is everything okay, Marcus?

MARCUS

I just feel a bit, y’know, um-- clearly this is awkward.

JACK takes a moment to think about it.

JACK

You’re right. It is awkward, very awkward.

MARCUS

Exactly.

JACK

Awkward that I would expect so much of you in such a short space of time.

MARCUS

(lost)

Right.

JACK

But I believe in you.

MARCUS

Thanks.

JACK

Hug it out?

JACK reaches towards MARCUS for a hug. MARCUS stands there, flabbergasted.

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