as for misjudging entire genres, we will definitely have to agree to disagree. to understand films one does not need to view ALL films. nor to understand literature one does not need to read all books. however . . .

i did break down and finally saw the latest scifi extravaganza, avatar. special effects aside – which is NOT why “i” go to the movies in the first, second or last place – i could NOT have been more BORED or more disengaged in the story. (though i did understand the subtext and its social relevance. but i certainly would never have gone the route of animated characters to tell such a tale). to me it was a huge waste of time. my husband said “wow. that didn’t seem like 2 1/2 hours, did it?” i replied “nope. it felt like 4 1/2. but hey, we have these really cool 3D glasses.” so i rest my case. that will in fact be THE VERY LAST minute i will ever waste on scifi.

again – thank you for attempting to clarify the situation. and good luck with your writing career.

Pam

Pam has a few disputes, but her major one seems to be with rule #5: the character’s objective never being stated by dialogue.

To my understanding, subtext is about what’s going on INSIDE a character and between characters, what they REALLY wants but can’t outwardly state.

As Chip points out > the Queen’s scene/overall objective is to prove her stature, not keep Trista in her place Trista does not overtly state her objective to get her son a recommendation by saying “My Queen, a recommendation from you or your son could get him into the academy”. She makes the observation that *a* recommendation would be helpful, but the Queen simply infers that a recommendation won’t be necessary… that if he’s born to be a flyer, he’ll do fine. And the following phrases, “All are born to their function,” and “A common, but durable, lineage,” are clever metaphors — not subtext. metaphors are not subtext. They’re neat, but they’re not subtext IN THEIR OWN RIGHT Interestingly, Trista and the Queen’s objectives are not opposing. Trista wants a recommendation… as for story content… my thought was to concentrate on subtext first, story second. it could/should have been the other way around. >
For me, story must come before subtext. If I start with subtext first, I now must create the action around it and suddenly the scene isn’t about the action/plot/story, it’s about subtext which has now become text, because since I started with it first and built around it it’s now in the foreground instead of where it belongs – running underneath all things.

And I think you sorely misjudge entire genres of films. Yes, when done poorly, action/sci-fi/horror films can be among the dumbest, most destructive forms of entertainment out there. But done well, these films have the power you’re looking for – the power to transform, uplift, even educate.
If you really want to write films that get bought, made and actually seen, I’m afraid you’re going to have to watch films like Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars and Spiderman. In fact, you’ll have to study them carefully because they’re cultural touchstones for a reason. They strike chords that reverberate throughout culture and time because they are shining examples of GREAT STORYTELLING. How can you aspire to write great films – as I assume you do – and not study some of the greatest films ever made? Stanley Kubrick could make people squirm and wince, but he was a masterful storyteller. Ignoring someone of that stature’s work would be like wanting to become a novelist but refusing to read Hemmingway, Stephen King or Shakespeare.
They are masterful in structure, tone and pace. Their themes are timeless and speak to people across the world and across generations. They have inspired millions, and whether film audiences know it or not, it wasn’t because of cool explosions. People love and remember these films because of their SUBTEXT, what those stories were REALLY about, struck a chord.
If you want your work to do that you have to study what worked before, what didn’t and why. That means studying all genres, good examples and bad.

Sorry about the length of this reply, just wanted to cover my bases. Thanks again to Chip for the wonderful community, website and contest.

Keep writing, everyone!

Alain Dominic

Yes, we’ll be having more… we’re reaching out to qualified referees — screenwriters, professional readers or analysts, producers and directors, etc.

Keep checking back…

INT. KATIE AND MICAH’S BEDROOM -- VIDEO CAMERA POV. -- EVE.

Micah and Katie are asleep in bed. A loud BANG wakes them up. Katie jumps out of bed and runs out of the room, Micah quickly following. We see flashes of light, more noise, a loud male scream. A THUMP.

Fade Out.

INT. KATIE AND MICAH’S KITCHEN -- EVE.

At the kitchen table, Katie sips brandy across from the Paranormal Researcher (who we’ve seen before), with a glass of brandy in front of him as well. A bottle and telephone lay on the table between the pair. Micah is sprawled lifeless about 10 yards from them.

PARANORMAL RESEARCHER

Finally!

Katie sips her brandy. (beat) Paranormal researcher scratches his head.

PARANORMAL RESEARCHER

So he didn’t think his “heart pills” tasted sweeter than normal?

KATIE

Nope. I switched them gradually.

PARANORMAL RESEARCHER

(proudly)

Ahh. That’s my girl.

Katie blushes.

KATIE

I was taught by the best Pop!

She looks at Micah, face down.

KATIE

Nice butt.

PARANORMAL RESEARCHER

Nicer policy... (beat) Idiot.

They both laugh. Paranormal researcher looks at the kitchen clock.

PARANORMAL RESEARCHER

Ready?

Katie sombers up. Starts to sob. Picks up the phone. Dials 911.

KATIE

(sobbing)

Hello? Micha.. my boyfriend... He’s not breathing. Oh, please help me. Send an ambulance!

FADE OUT.

INT. KATIE AND MICAH’S BEDROOM – VIDEO CAMERA POV. – EVE.

Micah and Katie are asleep in bed. The footsteps of the apparition are heard entering the bedroom. The covers over Katie are slowly pulled back from off of her. Invisible hands grab her hands and pull her from the bed and out toward the doorway.

Katie SCREAMS out for help and Micah hears her. He quickly jumps out of bed and tries to pull her back into the room, but the apparition’s strength is too strong and Katie is pulled out of the doorway and into the hall.

Micah rushes after her, into the darkness.

There is a scuffle from downstairs followed by a male SCREAM.

After a moment, Katie returns to the room. She is covered in blood. She climbs back under the covers and prepares to go back to sleep.

A few moments later there is the sound of footsteps from the apparition as it enters the room. Katie looks toward the sound of the footsteps.

Katie’s gaze follows the footsteps as they come around to Micah’s side of the bed. The covers lift up and a form lies down under the covers. Katie lies there very still for a moment, looking at the invisible form beside her. The invisible form turns on it left side, away from her. Katie slowly moves in close to the form and then drapes her right arm around the form and snuggles up behind it.

The two of them lie quietly together. Katie rests her head on the shoulder of the form. There is a slight smile of contentment on Katie’s face; it’s over.

KATIE

(in a whisper)

Goodnight.

The tape on the recorder runs out and there is nothing but a blank screen filled with static.

BLACK OUT.

INT. KATIE AND MICAH’S BEDROOM – VIDEO CAMERA POV. – EVE.

Micah and Katie are asleep in bed. The footsteps of the apparition are heard entering the bedroom. The covers over Katie are slowly pulled back from off of her. Invisible hands grab her hands and pull her from the bed and out toward the doorway.

Katie SCREAMS out for help and Micah hears her. He quickly jumps out of bed and tries to pull her back into the room, but the apparition’s strength is too strong and Katie is pulled out of the doorway and into the hall.

Micah rushes after her, into the darkness.

There is a scuffle from downstairs followed by a male SCREAM.

After a moment, Katie returns to the room. She is covered in blood. She climbs back under the covers and prepares to go back to sleep.

A few moments later there is the sound of footsteps from the apparition as it enters the room. Katie looks toward the sound of the footsteps.

Katie’s gaze follows the footsteps as they come around to Micah’s side of the bed. The covers lift up and a form lies down under the covers. Katie lies there very still for a moment, looking at the invisible form beside her. The invisible form turns on it left side, away from her. Katie slowly moves in close to the form and then drapes her right arm around the form and snuggles up behind it.

KATIE

(in a whisper)

You win.

The two of them lie quietly together. Katie rests her head on the shoulder of the form. There is a slight smile of contentment on Katie’s face; it’s over.

The tape on the recorder runs out and there is nothing but a blank screen filled with static.

BLACK OUT.

This post was mentioned on Twitter by chipstreet: Screenplay contest: Write Club Challenge 2 – Endings matter – write a new ending for Paranormal Activity. http://tinyurl.com/yjrjhvm...