INT. OFFICE – NIGHT

It’s dead quiet. MARCUS, mid-30’s, lifts up his gym bag and pulls out his casual clothing.

He looks down at the suit he’s wearing. Yes. Definitely time to change. He takes off his shirt and tie -- followed by his trousers. He’s down to underwear.

He looks around. It’s empty. He feels strangely liberated. He takes off his underwear. He’s naked.

The door opens, JACK, 50’s, enters.

JACK

I got the figures back. We’re down 8% so we’re going to have to cut back on the Hatchwell account.

MARCUS stands there; frozen, naked.

MARCUS

Umm-- uhhh, okay, look, I --- I was just ---

JACK

Marcus.

JACK has a confused look on his face.

MARCUS

Okay you must be wondering what the hell is going on?

JACK

Exactly! What happened to the account? I thought you were handling it.

MARCUS is taken aback. It’s as if JACK doesn’t know he’s naked.

MARCUS

Well, yeah -- I mean, obviously we’ve had some restructuring in the company, so it’s been a tough few months.

MARCUS sits behind the desk, as if to cover his most sensitive regions.

JACK steps towards him --

JACK

Look, I know you’ve had a hard time recently, but I believe in you, I do.

MARCUS

Thanks.

JACK

You’re still taking care of the Rudd acount, right?

MARCUS

Definitely.

JACK

Shake on it?

JACK offers out his hand to shake. MARCUS realizes it will mean him having to stand and reach towards him. JACK isn’t budging.

The naked MARCUS stands up and reaches out his hand to shake. JACK doesn’t seem fazed by it at all.

They shake hands. MARCUS looks uncomfortable, and nervous.

JACK (CONT’D)

Is everything okay, Marcus?

MARCUS

I just feel a bit, y’know, um-- clearly this is awkward.

JACK takes a moment to think about it.

JACK

You’re right. It is awkward, very awkward.

MARCUS

Exactly.

JACK

Awkward that I would expect so much of you in such a short space of time.

MARCUS

(lost)

Right.

JACK

But I believe in you.

MARCUS

Thanks.

JACK

Hug it out?

JACK reaches towards MARCUS for a hug. MARCUS stands there, flabbergasted.

INT. DAY CARE ROOM. DAY

KEVIN wakes up with a big hangover. He notices a kids’ doll next to him with lipstick on it.

KEVIN

You guys.

He starts to become aware of his surroundings. He’s in a Day Care room and he’s naked!

KEVIN (CONT’D)

What the... OK very good. I can’t handle my drink... Guys?

The door opens, Kevin bends down to pick up the doll.

MARY hovers in the doorway.

MARY

Hello?

Kevin realizes he’s giving her an eyeful, stands-up, turns around to face her and uses the doll to cover his modesty.

KEVIN

Hi! Look, I’m really sorry. I don’t know how I’ve ended up here...

MARY

It’s ok. It happens all the time.

KEVIN

It does? Oh thank God, you don’t know how embarrassed I...

Kevin steps on a sex toy.

MARY

Oh don’t be. We don’t use this room anymore.

KEVIN

Ah... so there is some logic to this madness.

A relieved Kevin holds up the doll and sex toy.

MARY

Indeed. Anyway, we should get you out of here. It’s quite cold, isn’t it?

Kevin immediately covers his modesty with the doll again.

KEVIN

Oh God, yes... Extremely.

MARY

I’ll just get you some help.

KEVIN

Great. Can’t wait to get back to the guys.

The sex toy starts to buzz.

KEVIN (CONT’D)

I’ll certainly enjoy returning this.

Mary smiles.

MARY

I bet! Right, here’s my husband. He’ll sort you out. I just volunteer.

Kevin stops the sex toy.

KEVIN

OK. Look, thank you for being so understanding. I thought I was in a lot of...

Kevin notices that Mary has a white cane and is blind.

KEVIN (CONT’D)

Oh.

MARY

Darling, can you help this gentleman? He’s come to see the kids and is very keen to give them something.

Kevin panics and throws away the sex toy as in walks MARY’S HUSBAND – a large security guard.

The sex toy starts buzzing having landed in a compromising position on a teddy bear’s lap.

KEVIN

Hi!

INT. FUNERAL HOME. CUT TO A YOUNG MAN, KYLE, SEATED IN A PEW, WEARING A SUIT. FROM CAM. LEFT IN WALKS ANOTHER YOUNG MAN, SPENCER.

SPENCER

Hey man. Sorry I’m late.

KYLE

What kept you so long?

SPENCER

Well, this place isn’t easy to find. Who has a funeral in the middle of the woods? And besides, the only reason I’m here is because you said you needed a ride to Eric’s party.

KYLE reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ring.

SPENCER (CONT’D)

What’s that?

KYLE

This? It’s part of the ceremony. After the Dirge of The Wailing Soul is done, and the final call, and the Circle of Waking, the ringed members of the Inner Circle perform the Danse Macabre.

SPENCER

Wait what?

KYLE

Look, hold on a second.

KYLE stands up and holds the ringed hand on his forehead.

KYLE (CONT’D)

We behold the sacred rite of the Mother of Terras Prima, and chant to thee: “Mi unquale, kille’annia, kuile esse.”

(”In death, people of the willow, life begins.”)

SPENCER

What was that?

KYLE

What was what?

SPENCER

Uh, that Lord of the Rings shit that just happened.

KYLE

That was the final call. We use it to send the soul of the deceased to the Green?

SPENCER

The “Green”?

KYLE

Uh, where the soul goes when they die?

SPENCER looks back to the front, and is appalled.

SPENCER

Oh God, why are they punching her?

KYLE

Fuck man, you’re acting like you’ve never been to a funeral before.

SPENCER

I thought I had. But...

KYLE

After the final call, the Elders ensure that the soul has left the body by pummeling the departed about the head; once for each year of life.

SPENCER

Is that what we do?

SPENCER recoils.

SPENCER (CONT’D)

Jesus, what are they doing now?

KYLE

Ah, the Danse Macabre is beginning.

SPENCER

Holy hell they are waltzing with the corpse.

KYLE

Look, I gotta go do this. It’ll only take like, ten minutes and then we can duck out of here early to head to the party.

SPENCER

Uh...

KYLE

Ten minutes. I’ll be right back.

Chanting and music is heard off-camera as it holds on SPENCER, seated in the pew, enthralled by the spectacle before him, unable to move or comprehend. One last moment causes SPENCER to recoil once more.

SPENCER

Oh God.

THE END

INT. LIVING ROOM

Michael enters the living room and sits quietly on the sofa.

LISA

Michael, so because of food, you will not talk to me. How many times do we celebrate our anniversary? Isn’t it once a year? So this year I took it upon myself for us to try something new and you’re here being pissed off. Even my friend Vicky, whose husband does not have a job went to that same restaurant... she was the one who told me about the restaurant.

MICHAEL

Anything out of your mouth again will make me even more piss off than I already am. How can I be angry because of food? Does it make any sense to you? If you want to have fun on your anniversary, you don’t have to spend 0 to have fun. You do not order a cake the size of this house and order some stupid music people to come play rubbish music and you expect me to be happy paying them? And stop comparing us to other people. I hate that. If you want to be extravagant on our anniversary

LISA

But I wanted to surprise you.

MICHAEL

You wanted to surprise me! wowwww.. You have really surprise me, big time. And the next time you want to surprise me, make sure you pay the bill.

LISA

Michael!

MICHAEL

I do not want to talk about this issue anymore.

Lisa sits on the sofa and turns on the TV. She began to take off her shoes and she farts. She began to hold her stomach.

MICHAEL

What was that?

LISA

I think I over ate.

Lisa gets up and heads to the washroom. Michael blocks her.

MICHAEL

Where are you going?

LISA

I am going to the bathroom.

MICHEAL

You are going to use the bathroom?

LISA

Yes, Yes am going to use the bathroom, now move.

MICHAEL

You are going to take a shit?

LISA

Yes!

MICHAEL

That is not going to happen in this house

LISA

But why?

MICHAEL

0 worth of food just went through your system less than 30 minutes and you are going to shit it out in my toilet bowl. Are you out of your mind. sit down!

LISA

Michael stop play, please move.

MICHAEL

You are going nowhere. This is going to be a lesson I will make sure you learn. The next time you go to a restaurant you will not order the entire kitchen to show your friends that you are having fun.

LISA

So Michael do you want me to do it here? Listen, this is not today’s food. It is last week’s food.

MICHAEL

Don’t give me that bull, I saw you use the toilet this morning. So this is definitely today’s food. In fact the food we just ate.

LISA

Michael! Mike!

Michael ran to the bathroom and locks himself in the bathroom.

THE END

INT. PUBLISHING HOUSE CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

EVA and SHOSHANA sit at a conference table.

SHOSHANA

Did I really have to leave Ezechiel’s Bar Mitzvah for this?

EVA

Alright. I know you passed on this concept, and truthfully I haven’t read a word. But I’m dying to meet the author, and this was the only time available. Besides, he has the cutest mustache. And he’s just so... so hot.

In marches ADOLF HITLER. He scatters colorful cartoon drawings on the table.

SHOSHANA

I’m impressed. Your drawings are very whimsical. They take me to a magical place. But the story--

ADOLF HITLER

Story? This is the plan!

EVA

Aw, look at that cute little otter--

ADOLF HITLER

That is a disobedient rat with all its limbs ripped off!

SHOSHANA

Ms. Braun, I thought I was hired to help you find the next great children’s book?

Adolf Hitler POUNDS his fist on the table.

ADOLF HITLER

I wish there was a book like this when I was a child!

EVA

Lots of charisma.

SHOSHANA

This is your publishing house, Ms. Braun, but as your screener, I advise you not to get involved with this story.

ADOLF HITLER

The plan has a strong moral lesson!

SHOSHANA

Your story is about an eagle that rounds up all the mice--

ADOLF HITLER

Rats!

SHOSHANA

Rounds up all the rats and forces them into death ghettos.

Hitler stomps around the room.

ADOLF HITLER

What are you talking about? The patriotic eagle sends the vermin to lovable camps! The filthy creatures develop a strong work ethic!

EVA

(to Shoshana)

Doesn’t he look handsome in his uniform?

SHOSHANA

This is a horrible idea.

EVA

(to Shoshana)

But I really like him. I want him to bang me.

Hitler gathers his drawings.

SHOSHANA

Truthfully, Mr. Hitler, I think you need help.

ADOLF HITLER

Fuck you, Goldstein! I’m enacting plan B!

Hitler storms out. Eva runs after him.

SHOSHANA

Oy vey.

as for misjudging entire genres, we will definitely have to agree to disagree. to understand films one does not need to view ALL films. nor to understand literature one does not need to read all books. however . . .

i did break down and finally saw the latest scifi extravaganza, avatar. special effects aside – which is NOT why “i” go to the movies in the first, second or last place – i could NOT have been more BORED or more disengaged in the story. (though i did understand the subtext and its social relevance. but i certainly would never have gone the route of animated characters to tell such a tale). to me it was a huge waste of time. my husband said “wow. that didn’t seem like 2 1/2 hours, did it?” i replied “nope. it felt like 4 1/2. but hey, we have these really cool 3D glasses.” so i rest my case. that will in fact be THE VERY LAST minute i will ever waste on scifi.

again – thank you for attempting to clarify the situation. and good luck with your writing career.

Pam

Pam has a few disputes, but her major one seems to be with rule #5: the character’s objective never being stated by dialogue.

To my understanding, subtext is about what’s going on INSIDE a character and between characters, what they REALLY wants but can’t outwardly state.

As Chip points out > the Queen’s scene/overall objective is to prove her stature, not keep Trista in her place Trista does not overtly state her objective to get her son a recommendation by saying “My Queen, a recommendation from you or your son could get him into the academy”. She makes the observation that *a* recommendation would be helpful, but the Queen simply infers that a recommendation won’t be necessary… that if he’s born to be a flyer, he’ll do fine. And the following phrases, “All are born to their function,” and “A common, but durable, lineage,” are clever metaphors — not subtext. metaphors are not subtext. They’re neat, but they’re not subtext IN THEIR OWN RIGHT Interestingly, Trista and the Queen’s objectives are not opposing. Trista wants a recommendation… as for story content… my thought was to concentrate on subtext first, story second. it could/should have been the other way around. >
For me, story must come before subtext. If I start with subtext first, I now must create the action around it and suddenly the scene isn’t about the action/plot/story, it’s about subtext which has now become text, because since I started with it first and built around it it’s now in the foreground instead of where it belongs – running underneath all things.

And I think you sorely misjudge entire genres of films. Yes, when done poorly, action/sci-fi/horror films can be among the dumbest, most destructive forms of entertainment out there. But done well, these films have the power you’re looking for – the power to transform, uplift, even educate.
If you really want to write films that get bought, made and actually seen, I’m afraid you’re going to have to watch films like Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars and Spiderman. In fact, you’ll have to study them carefully because they’re cultural touchstones for a reason. They strike chords that reverberate throughout culture and time because they are shining examples of GREAT STORYTELLING. How can you aspire to write great films – as I assume you do – and not study some of the greatest films ever made? Stanley Kubrick could make people squirm and wince, but he was a masterful storyteller. Ignoring someone of that stature’s work would be like wanting to become a novelist but refusing to read Hemmingway, Stephen King or Shakespeare.
They are masterful in structure, tone and pace. Their themes are timeless and speak to people across the world and across generations. They have inspired millions, and whether film audiences know it or not, it wasn’t because of cool explosions. People love and remember these films because of their SUBTEXT, what those stories were REALLY about, struck a chord.
If you want your work to do that you have to study what worked before, what didn’t and why. That means studying all genres, good examples and bad.

Sorry about the length of this reply, just wanted to cover my bases. Thanks again to Chip for the wonderful community, website and contest.

Keep writing, everyone!

Alain Dominic

Yes, we’ll be having more… we’re reaching out to qualified referees — screenwriters, professional readers or analysts, producers and directors, etc.

Keep checking back…